A Feedback on William Jennings Bryan
To begin with, I have to say the work done here was quite encouraging but at the same allow me to differ with you in certain areas. At the same time also make right some issues that I strongly feel were not addressed in a manner that I could have liked them to be.
I will really be disappointed in small spelling mistakes together with a bit of mistake in grammar prevent you from presenting a wonderful piece of art or article. Do you think there is a way you can try and avoid the spelling mistakes? You can also try and look at the incomplete wording whereby you should try and practice to write as many words as you can.
I would really prefer if you practiced writing in shorter sentences, for example, you avoid being so wordy as seen in the first paragraph something that can drain energy from the reader and fail to identify the idea you will be availing to him or her. I would also advise writing in short sentences in order to avoid repetition of words like where “presidential bid” has been repeated without making much sense rather could have been replaced by a pronoun.
I will also ask you to avoid phrase interchange and encourage you to read them aloud to check flow improvement. Example, Bryan became an “ambassador of peace” rather than a peace ambassador.